


Every morning when I open my eyes, the only thing in my mind is you

by orphan_account



Category: Day6 (Band)
Genre: Fluff (?), M/M, a lotttttttttttt, i guess, inspired by QueenTrickster's Early Morning Rapping, it's short, jae was mentioned, mostly just youngk's thoughts..., y'all BBC should check it out!!!, youngk centric
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-06
Updated: 2019-12-06
Packaged: 2021-02-25 20:34:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,458
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21681523
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Younghyun had known Jae for years. He had been friends with him for almost a decade, although their very first year knowing each other couldn't count as "friends". Still, they had known about each other for a really, really long time.Then how come, how come it didn't happen then? Why didn't it happen sooner? Why, why in the world had it happened now?
Relationships: Kang Younghyun | Young K/Park Jaehyung | Jae
Comments: 11
Kudos: 37





	Every morning when I open my eyes, the only thing in my mind is you

Younghyun had known Jae for years. He had been friends with him for almost a decade, although their very first year knowing each other couldn’t count as “friends”. Still, they had known each other for a long, long time.

Then how come, how come it didn’t happen then? Why didn’t it happen sooner? Why, why in the world had it happened _now_?

It didn’t happen in their trainee days when everyone knew how they hated each other. Mostly it was Younghyun who hated Jae, to be honest. He hated that Jae got _his_ position while he had to deal with the bass guitar. He hated that he seemed to have everything Younghyun had, and also seemed to have everything he didn’t. He hated that Jae was so...perfect. He hated that he knew he could never be like him, and hated that he knew it wasn’t Jae’s fault. It wasn’t his fault for being perfect. It wasn’t his fault that Younghyun couldn’t be as good. Still.

It obviously didn’t happen in their debut days, when Younghyun had learned to accept Jae as his bandmate and as a friend. When they would play “Congratulations” every day in their small, cozy dorm and sing along cheerfully, look at each other’s eyes that were shining with hope and trust, knowing that they were then standing on another stage of their life. When they could still grin even though their hands were numb after hours of practising. When they couldn’t feel the tiredness at all, drunken in the feeling of finally debuted, finally showed the world who they were. When Jae would always smile even when he was exhausted. When Jae would never stop talking about how great did it feel like having fans and having support. 

And when things changed, when everything seemed so dark, when their promised future seemed to slip out of their hands, Jae was the one who cheered them up. He would make bunches of jokes, American-style jokes and Korean-style’s. He would always find them to help him with Korean to distract them from being down. He would act like he wasn’t hurt, like he didn’t worry about their future at all, like he knew that their career would still be fine. Younghyun knew he didn’t. But he always acted like he did. 

It should have happened there.

It didn’t.

When everything seemed to be settled, it should have happened. 

Jae comforted him through his anxiety. Jae praised him whenever he felt insecure. Jae hugged him tightly and told him that everything would be fine when he was exhausted from everything he had to do. It should have happened some point near there. Maybe when he wiped Younghyun’s tears off of his eyes, smiled softly at him and whispered _You’re beautiful. You’re pretty. Don’t care about those comments. Don’t care about them._ Maybe when he asked him if he was tired and if he needed to sleep, then told him that if he was tired, he would call the manager to cancel their schedule so that he could sleep in. Maybe when he struggled to cook him some soup when Younghyun fell sick, smiled apologetically at him when he coughed because of the saltiness. Maybe when he glanced at him to check if he had fallen asleep and turned the air-conditioner down a little bit to make sure that he didn’t get too cold. Maybe, maybe, maybe,...

But it didn’t happen.

It happened when Jae wasn’t even there. It happened when Younghyun was alone in the dorm. It happened when no one was there to witness.

But Younghyun, at least, could convince himself that it had happened in the best way it could be.

=====

It was cold.

Younghyun could tell that the weather was cold right when he opened his eyes. It was winter after all. 

It was colder when he realized that he was alone. The other members were either out with their friends or were home with their families.

And yet. And yet, he was here, alone, didn’t know where to go, didn’t know who to come to.

He shrugged. He was used to it though. Besides, he wasn’t alone all the time. He had friends. He had friends in college, friends who were idols and friends who were not. Moreover, the members always gave time for him at the end of the day. Especially Jae. He would always be the soonest to go back home, greeted him with a cheeky grin and pulled him into a hug before handing him some food that he bought on the way home. Younghyun would never refuse food.

Sometimes he thought that was his way to show his pity. He didn’t want Jae to pity him. He thought about telling Jae to stop coming back so early and to stop buying food for him.

But every time he saw his eyes fondly watched him as he enjoyed the food he bought for him, Younghyun always decided to leave it to another day.

Well, that “another day” would never come.

He got up from his bed, still was too tired to think of doing anything. He stayed up late yesterday, thinking about DAY6. Their career, their dream, their fans, their everything. He thought about the members. Mostly Jae, somehow. He tried to think about the other members, but somehow it always came back to Jae. His smile. His jokes. His gentle touches. He didn’t know why. Maybe it was because he still wasn’t used to sleeping without Jae in the same room, although it had been a year or more. Perhaps he missed him--they were besties, but Jae didn’t interact with him a lot recently. Or it could probably be both of the reasons. 

Younghyun cut himself off by slowly moving out of his room, still had his pyjamas on. He felt his stomach grunted, told him that he was hungry. Maybe he should make breakfast. (In days like these, he hardly wanted to cook. There wasn’t anyone to eat with him anyway...There wasn’t Jae to eat with him.) 

His mind wandered to Jae again while he was preparing cereals for breakfast. He was not going to cook.

What did he have this morning? He could tell that he didn't eat at their dorm, as he didn’t see any plate in the sink. Jae never washed the plates, unless Sungjin was there to scold at him. He remembered he said something about going out with Jimin. He probably had breakfast with her anyway. Younghyun frowned a little bit. He liked Jimin, the girl was friendly and humorous and was one of Jae’s best friend, he couldn’t hate her. But there was something about Jimin, or maybe something about their friendship that made him uncomfortable. He remembered the time when they were thought to be dating and the fans were talking about it nights and days. He didn’t know why did he feel uneasy about that. They weren’t dating anyway. And even if they did, he should be glad for both of them. Jimin was a good girl, and they got along really well. 

He talked to him about that once. He didn’t know if his face was too serious, but Jae just laughed as he wrapped his arms around Younghyun’s waist.

_“Relax, Bribri.”_

He could remember every word he said, as clear as daylight.

_“You're overthinking it.”_

_“There is nothing between us, don't worry.”_

He started to pour milk into the cereals bowl. He could feel the wind blowing in through the windows and gently touched him, made him shiver. 

Why was he thinking about Jae again?

He didn’t know. Was it normal to think about your bandmate every night and day? He wasn’t sure. He thought about Jae, wondered what did he had to make Younghyun think about him that much. His mind went from Jae’s hair to his eyes, his eyes which were always shining so brightly, his eyes which were so dangerously sharp on stage, to his lips, his soft lips, the lips that would always curve up to form a grin whenever he saw him, the lips that would sing the prettiest songs, the lips that were born for the softest songs like “I'll try”...

Younghyun didn’t realize that the milk spilled out of the bowl. He was busy in his mind.

Why couldn’t he stop thinking about his lips? Why couldn’t he stop thinking about how much he wanted to kiss--

He blinked.

_Wait a second._

He only had two thoughts in his mind.

One, _did he just spill the milk?_

And two, _was he in love with Jae?_

He knew better than anyone else that the answer for both questions was a Yes.

And if anyone asked, he totally fucked up.

**Author's Note:**

> go shout at me on twt @kanghyun1912


End file.
